I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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