absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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