Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Randomize
