I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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