haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
