So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize