he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
