Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Randomize
