Don't you send me to vm
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
