Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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