yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
