So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
