i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
