I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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