at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
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