Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
