mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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