you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
worst night to have a conscience
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
