just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Randomize
