yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Someone came in the potted fern
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
