We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
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