I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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