Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
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