They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
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