I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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