If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
