Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
