So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
