Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Just got an Edible Arrangement my parents sent me for my birthday. Time to marinate some fruit in vodka.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
