I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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