I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize