i permit you to call me
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
