Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
Randomize
