Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Randomize
