Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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