does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
