it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
My Higher Power is John Stamos
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
