You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
