i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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