There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
