I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
