If you die in college, do you die in real life?
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
