They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
