Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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