I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
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