She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
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