Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Randomize
