I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Randomize
