smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
