Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He just pushed one of his testicles up into his stomach and called himself lance armstrong. I can't make this shit up.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
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