I want to stick my p in your. b.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
