apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
