Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
