And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize