My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
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