Where is the hickey?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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