i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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