Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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