i already hear my dad disowning me
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dignity is for republicans.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize
