I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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