I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
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