like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
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