All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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