Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
there was a trapeze. enough said
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
