The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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