yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Your place is a magnet for either righteous parties or crippling alcohol dependency. Lets find out which together
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
