Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
