so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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