Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Randomize
