There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
