they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
